Valentine's Woes
by 13.shimer.13
Summary: Love is in despair, and then in the air. After a faux pas, Penelope Garcia breaks up with Kevin Lynch. Luckily, her friends and a certain Derek Morgan are there to comfort her. At least two more chapters planned after the first, which I will eventually write.


Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. I do own the bartender (see Love and Hangovers for the origins of Chrissy.)

The fifth shot of the night slid down without a hitch. Penelope Garcia gesticulated with her hands frantically, "I mean, it was Valentine's Day. _Valentine's Day_. What was he thinking? He didn't get me _any_ thing." She scowled, slamming the shot glass down slightly harder than she intended. Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau winced simultaneously, but the glass—thankfully—didn't crack. "It's not like I even said I didn't celebrate Valentine's Day, either. I'm Penelope _freakin'_ Garcia! Of course I celebrate Valentine's Day!" the long-suffering bartender, Chrissy, brought another three shots over. She grinned at the group of friends, holding back her laughter. She collected the much-abused shot glasses, in a good-natured way that was one of the reasons the agents frequented the bar. Chrissy was the owner, and a damned good bar-keep.

"Sorry to interrupt," Chrissy said.

Emily smiled. "You're not interrupting," she said softly. Well, as softly as you could say anything in a crowded bar on a Saturday night.

"That's sweet, but I am. I have a good reason. There's a group of men who've asked to be seated with y'all, I just wanted to check if that was alright." Chrissy pointed over to the door, where Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid stood waiting. She raised her voice so that they could hear her: "I think I've seen these losers hanging around with you before, but they could be crazy stalkers and murderers." The girls fell about laughing, observing their offended team mates.

"You're my favourite," Emily said, grinning wolfishly.

"I hope so," Chrissy replied with a smirk. She walked away, grabbing the boys and bringing them over. Emily watched her go and return, her eyes intense.

"You're drooling, Em," JJ whispered loudly.

The six other agents burst out laughing, and Emily stood up, raising an eyebrow. "I'll go get the drinks in," she replied, stalking away.

"Yeah, and that's not all." JJ jibed, causing the others to laugh again.

"Jayje, stop being mean to Em." Penelope said half-heartedly. She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, that sounded fake, even to me. When did I get so bitter?" she asked, pouting.

JJ mimed looking at a watch. "Approximately twenty-four hours ago."

"What happened yesterday?" Derek asked, going from nought to protective mode in a second. "Do I need to punch someone?"

"Don't punch anyone." Hotch ordered, sternly. "You're too good of an agent to lose based on a bogus assault charge." He smiled slightly. "I'm going to go and help Prentiss get the drinks. I think she's forgotten why she went over there."

Penelope had already downed her next drink, so she grabbed Emily's discarded shot, and downed that. "So yesterday was Valentine's Day, right?" Derek nodded, realising that although it sounded like a rhetorical question, it probably wasn't. "Right." She nodded, and he smiled. Dodged a bullet there. "Kevin didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day! _Valentine's Day_! Don't I look like the sort of person who celebrates Valentine's Day? I mean, I'm—"

"Penelope _freakin'_ Garcia!" JJ and Penelope said simultaneously. This led to a lot of raised eyebrows, and laughter.

"I've just sat through this." JJ explained. "Garcie here is on her seventh… no, let's make that eighth," Emily set another drink down in front of Penelope which was immediately consumed. "drink of the night."

"Wow," Derek said. "Have they all been that strong?"

"Some were stronger."

"I'm still here, yaknow." Penelope pointed out.

"You won't be for long," Derek assured her. Penelope giggled, and everyone else started to laugh too. Such an infectious laugh, that girl.

"You gonna take me home and _ravish_ me?" she waggled her eyebrows, beginning to hiccup.

"Oh, baby girl. I'm going to take you home and tuck you in, silly." Penelope laughed.

"You gonna – _hic_ – take me home and fuck me in?" JJ snorted, almost spilling her drink.

"Oh Garcie, I'm never going to let you forget that," she told her friend, gasping for air.

"Me neither, PG." Emily said, snickering. Penelope stuck her tongue out at her friends.

"Chrissy." She said to Emily. "Credit score." She said to JJ. 'Credit score' was code for 'all the embarrassing shit I have on you that I can't say in front of any of these people without straight up telling them, and ruining your life.' You could see why they had to shorten it to just 'Credit score'.

"Baby girl, you've clearly had enough. I'm not going to take advantage of you. You're too drunk for fucking," Derek said. He sounded amused, but he also sounded like he would take her up on her offer if she had been a bit more sober. Soberer. Was that a word? She decided it was a word now.

"One day I will be soberer." She declared proudly, standing up unsteadily. "I have to pee." She announced to the table, just as proudly.

"I'll take you," Emily said, jumping up eagerly. The toilets were conveniently right by the bar. Reid and Rossi sniggered at their friends.

"She's going to be a mess in the morning." Rossi commented, nursing his first scotch of the night.

"I'll make sure she's okay." Derek said, smiling softly. That made Reid snicker. Derek turned to glare at him. He widened his eyes, looking innocent.

"You're just such a good _friend_ , that's all." He said, trying not to laugh at the expression on his friend's face. Hotch and Rossi didn't bother, and both laughed deeply. Derek scowled.

"She has a boyfriend. You know I can't do that to her."

"Not anymore." JJ said. "She dumped him. She didn't say? Oh, I guess she didn't get that far with the story the second time." JJ shrugged at the astonishment marking Derek's face. Emily and Penelope walked back to the table, Penelope leaning on Emily for support. While Penelope was seemingly oblivious to the conversation, Emily had heard the tail-end of it.

"Did you get to the part where she talks about how she's Penelope _freakin'_ Garcia?" Emily asked, sounding solemn. "That was my favourite part." Penelope mimed the words 'Penelope freakin' Garcia', making everyone laugh.

"That's exactly where she got up to," Reid said. "It was my favourite part, too. JJ joined in for it." Emily sighed.

"Wish I'd been there for it." Her eyes trailed over to the bar, and she smiled. "Well, not that much." Rossi groaned.

"You've got it bad, kid." He looked heavenward. "All of you kids have got it bad." He made it sound disgusting, but they knew he was joking. The only thing he hated about lust, love and attraction was people not acting on their feelings.

"I'm soberer now." Penelope informed Derek. Several derisive snorts sounded around the table. "You gonna fuck me in?" Derek groaned, holding his head in his hands as all of their friends laughed around them. Her eyes were wide, and there was plain confusion in them.

"You don't wanna fuck me?" she asked. Gone was the usual teasing tone, gone were all flirtatious looks, smirks, and pretences. It was one, albeit extremely drunk, woman talking to an uncomfortably sober man. Derek was acutely aware of how quiet the other agents had fallen, paying intent attention to the question Penelope had asked him, and waiting expectantly for an answer—the right answer.

"Always," he admitted. She smiled brightly. "But not tonight, not like this. I want to wait for a time when you haven't just broken up with your knuckle-head boyfriend, and you're not drunk and unable to really give yourself to me. And…" he stared straight into her eyes. "I don't just want to fuck you. I want to make love with you. I want to do this—and you, you silly drunk girl—properly."

Several wolf-whistles rang through the bar, and cat-calls, and cheers and whoops. "About damn time!" one patron called out. They didn't know his name, but they'd seen him often in the bar. Apparently, he had seen them too. Needless to say, Derek was thoroughly embarrassed. But it was the truth, and it was too late to do anything about it now.

"Really?" Penelope breathed out, still wide eyed.

"Yes. I love you, Penelope Garcia. You crazy, crazy drunk girl." She grinned and fell onto him to grab him into a hug. He smiled and stood up, pulling her up with him. "Time to get you home, baby girl."

"Okay, hot stuff." She waved goodbye to their friends, and the other people in the bar who had applauded and been happy for her.

The drive home was a blur which Penelope struggled to focus on. Her eyes kept on closing, and she tried to stay awake but couldn't.

Derek encouraged her to drink water, coffee, and aspirin laden water. She did everything he asked, while smiling lovingly and slightly dopily at him the whole time. Finally, he put her into bed. He would have left her there, but she looked up at him with bright eyes and the sweetest little smile, and said "Stay." He couldn't refuse her anything.


End file.
